What to Tell Cops If You Are Accused of Domestic Assault


All too many times a husband and wife (or father and mother) get into fights, both verbal and physical. In both situations, the cops are sometimes called to the home to get the situation under control. To get the situation under control, that sometimes requires the cops to arrest one of the parties.

In my experience, the person who calls the police first is usually the one who is less likely to be arrested. Cops generally assume that the person who did wrong would not initially call the police. With that said, cops cannot arrest anyone for domestic violence unless some evidence is gathered to prove one of the parties committed the crime of domestic assault (This is assuming the evidence has not already been gathered via the 911 audio). It happens all too often where the cops are called to a residence and feel they need to make an arrest so the parties stop arguing, even though there was no crime of domestic violence. I have heard where the police will stand with the alleged victim at their door and question her (or him) for hours until she finially says the spouse assaulted her. What was a verbal argument has now turned into a financial and relationship mess with a lot of consequences. The other spouse will be arrested and a no-contact-order will be put in place. The spouse will be unable to contact the wife unless he is willing to face at least another 7 days in jail. The spouse will be required to move out of the couple's residence and pay for a hotel room or move in with a friend or family member. This usually lasts 60-120 days until there is a real chance at having the no-contact-order cancelled so the two can live together again. The spouse also risks losing his gun rights with having a "domestic" on his record. He also risks paying hefty fines and penalties in addition to his jail fees and bond. Simply put, it can ruin a family and put someone into financial hardship because the cop(s) continued to question the person until they received an answer they wanted so an arrest could be made. . .And yes, this does actually happen.

If there was just a verbal argument between the couple and the police get called, here is what you should do: After the officers arrive at the front door, simply tell them it was a verbal argument. The officer(s) will observe both parties for any little marks or scratches and claim the marks/scratches were from a domestic fight (assuming you have any marks on you). You can simply tell them you need to speak to your attorney. The officer must stop all interrogation. It should be noted that the officer still may attempt to come into your home, which they can, to search your home for evidence of a domestic physical fight. Since you decided not to say anything, the case becomes much harder for the State to attempt to convict an innocent person of domestic violence.

The moral of the story here is that you should not let the officers tell you what you need to say so they can make an arrest for a crime when in fact, no crime was ever committed. Now as a victim, if someone actually injured you from a domestic assault it is certainly a good idea to speak with police if you are in fear for your safety.